the postman always begs twice....
I had a fun encounter on Wednesday at the post office in Mwanza, one that I'm sure would've made me lose my cool had I not just finished a fantastically relaxing and refreshing 2 week vacation...
I recieved a slip in my AMREF mailbox that said I had a package waiting for me at customs in the main Mwanza Post office - dated December 23rd. 'CHRISTMAS CANDY, HERE I COME!!!' was my first and only thought. So I went to pick it up - silly me - at about 1:15 in the afternoon.
Me: 'Hi, I'm here to pick up my package!'
Post Office Guy: 'The customs guy is at lunch. Sorry'
Me: 'Oh, so can someone else help me?'
POG: 'No, there's only one guy who can help you, and he is at lunch'
Me: 'So he just left, huh? When will he be back?'
POG: 'Actually, he hasn't been here all day, but I think he's at lunch now, he should be back soon.'
Me: 'Ummmm.... How do you know this if you haven't even seen him yet today?
POG: [no response]
Me: 'You see, I don't live in Mwanza town, so it's kind of an inconvenience for me to try to work around this dude's schedule. Maybe you can give him a call and see when he'll be back?'
POG: [calls the dude] 'He's at lunch. He'll be back at 2:30.'
Me: 'Ok, what time does he leave for the day?'
POG: '3pm'
fantastic
So at this point, I went to have a great Indian lunch with the two other volunteers in the region, Andrew and Ryan, both of whom apparently have blogs [see links]. After stuffing my face with curries and parathas, I glanced at my watch to see - 3:05pm. GREAT. So I did something I pretty much NEVER do in Mwanza - hopped in a cab - and arrived at the Post Office at 3:10. Let's pick up the conversation again here:
Me: [pant, pant] 'Hi, I'm here to pick up my package from the customs dude'
POG: [extremely guilty look on his face] 'Um, he's not here'
Me: 'What?! But i've been sitting here for 15 minutes waiting for him, he shouldn't have left yet! [yes, I lied. what's your point?!]
POG: 'Oh, um...... actually, he didn't come back from lunch'
Me: [mischevous, 'i'm gonna be demanding and not culturally sensitive' grin on my face]
Ok, buddy, let me tell you something. I had to pay 1,500 shillings to come to Mwanza today, and will have to pay the same this evening to return. I just took a 1,000 shilling cab so I could rush my ass over here and greet our friend, the customs dude, so I can pick up a package that has been sitting at this post office for a month since you guys were too late or lazy to send me the slip telling me to pick it up. Either you give me 4,000 shillings to I can go through this whole charade again tomorrow, or call him and tell him to get the hell over here and give me my package'
POG: 'Ummmm......take it easy, give me a minute...'
[on phone to customs dude] 'Hey, there's this white guy here who was looking for you earlier, and he's pretty angry now. Come over here and do your job'
[10 minutes pass.... I sit on bench, smiling passively-aggressively at every PO employee I see]
Customs Dude: 'Ok, where's this impatient white guy at?'
Me: 'Here I am, how are you today sir?' [continuing with the passive-aggressiveness]
CD: 'Oh, you know Swahili. Oh. Ok, where is your package?'
Me: 'That's what I'd like to know'
CD: [goes to find the parcel in question, a large box from my Aunt labeled 'books and magazines'] 'Ok, let's see here..... so with the customs fees and tarriffs and everything, that'll be 24,000 shillings please'
Me: 'No.'
CD: 'No, you didn't understand. You have to pay fees depending on the value of the goods that have been sent to you'
Me: 'Ok, but the number you came up with was based on postage fees, not value declaration. The package is valueless, it's all old magazines' [another lie - not true Aunt Karen, it was a VERY valuable gift!!]
CD: 'Ummmmm......Oh. Ok. Well, let's open it up and take a look.'
Me: 'Is Tanzania still a democratic country? Or are all packages opened up these days?'
[POG got a real kick out of that last statement, much to the chagrin of CD]
CD: 'Fuck you, rich white guy' [well, at least that's what I assume he said to himself]
[opens package, begins looking through contents - magazines, Christmas candy, BEEF STICKS!! - sure he had NO CLUE about those, cocoa mixes, mechanical pencils, etc]
CD: 'Ok, so how much money do you have?'
Me: [SILENT, with 'give me a break' written all over my face]
CD: 'You have 5,000 shillings?'
Me: 'No. The holidays just passed, and you know how money is after the holidays' [BEST EXCUSE EVER, got it from about the million Tanzanians I've heard use it]
CD: 'Oh. So.....' [starts fiddling with one of the mechanical pencils, but shows no sign of giving up this discussion]
Me: 'Do you like pencils?'
CD: 'Is that what this is? Yes, I do.'
Me: 'Enough, take 3 pencils, go back to wherever you were, and let me get the hell on my way.'
CD: [NO hesitation] 'OK. Thanks. Have a nice day'
Me: 'Yeah, buddy, you too.'
I recieved a slip in my AMREF mailbox that said I had a package waiting for me at customs in the main Mwanza Post office - dated December 23rd. 'CHRISTMAS CANDY, HERE I COME!!!' was my first and only thought. So I went to pick it up - silly me - at about 1:15 in the afternoon.
Me: 'Hi, I'm here to pick up my package!'
Post Office Guy: 'The customs guy is at lunch. Sorry'
Me: 'Oh, so can someone else help me?'
POG: 'No, there's only one guy who can help you, and he is at lunch'
Me: 'So he just left, huh? When will he be back?'
POG: 'Actually, he hasn't been here all day, but I think he's at lunch now, he should be back soon.'
Me: 'Ummmm.... How do you know this if you haven't even seen him yet today?
POG: [no response]
Me: 'You see, I don't live in Mwanza town, so it's kind of an inconvenience for me to try to work around this dude's schedule. Maybe you can give him a call and see when he'll be back?'
POG: [calls the dude] 'He's at lunch. He'll be back at 2:30.'
Me: 'Ok, what time does he leave for the day?'
POG: '3pm'
fantastic
So at this point, I went to have a great Indian lunch with the two other volunteers in the region, Andrew and Ryan, both of whom apparently have blogs [see links]. After stuffing my face with curries and parathas, I glanced at my watch to see - 3:05pm. GREAT. So I did something I pretty much NEVER do in Mwanza - hopped in a cab - and arrived at the Post Office at 3:10. Let's pick up the conversation again here:
Me: [pant, pant] 'Hi, I'm here to pick up my package from the customs dude'
POG: [extremely guilty look on his face] 'Um, he's not here'
Me: 'What?! But i've been sitting here for 15 minutes waiting for him, he shouldn't have left yet! [yes, I lied. what's your point?!]
POG: 'Oh, um...... actually, he didn't come back from lunch'
Me: [mischevous, 'i'm gonna be demanding and not culturally sensitive' grin on my face]
Ok, buddy, let me tell you something. I had to pay 1,500 shillings to come to Mwanza today, and will have to pay the same this evening to return. I just took a 1,000 shilling cab so I could rush my ass over here and greet our friend, the customs dude, so I can pick up a package that has been sitting at this post office for a month since you guys were too late or lazy to send me the slip telling me to pick it up. Either you give me 4,000 shillings to I can go through this whole charade again tomorrow, or call him and tell him to get the hell over here and give me my package'
POG: 'Ummmm......take it easy, give me a minute...'
[on phone to customs dude] 'Hey, there's this white guy here who was looking for you earlier, and he's pretty angry now. Come over here and do your job'
[10 minutes pass.... I sit on bench, smiling passively-aggressively at every PO employee I see]
Customs Dude: 'Ok, where's this impatient white guy at?'
Me: 'Here I am, how are you today sir?' [continuing with the passive-aggressiveness]
CD: 'Oh, you know Swahili. Oh. Ok, where is your package?'
Me: 'That's what I'd like to know'
CD: [goes to find the parcel in question, a large box from my Aunt labeled 'books and magazines'] 'Ok, let's see here..... so with the customs fees and tarriffs and everything, that'll be 24,000 shillings please'
Me: 'No.'
CD: 'No, you didn't understand. You have to pay fees depending on the value of the goods that have been sent to you'
Me: 'Ok, but the number you came up with was based on postage fees, not value declaration. The package is valueless, it's all old magazines' [another lie - not true Aunt Karen, it was a VERY valuable gift!!]
CD: 'Ummmmm......Oh. Ok. Well, let's open it up and take a look.'
Me: 'Is Tanzania still a democratic country? Or are all packages opened up these days?'
[POG got a real kick out of that last statement, much to the chagrin of CD]
CD: 'Fuck you, rich white guy' [well, at least that's what I assume he said to himself]
[opens package, begins looking through contents - magazines, Christmas candy, BEEF STICKS!! - sure he had NO CLUE about those, cocoa mixes, mechanical pencils, etc]
CD: 'Ok, so how much money do you have?'
Me: [SILENT, with 'give me a break' written all over my face]
CD: 'You have 5,000 shillings?'
Me: 'No. The holidays just passed, and you know how money is after the holidays' [BEST EXCUSE EVER, got it from about the million Tanzanians I've heard use it]
CD: 'Oh. So.....' [starts fiddling with one of the mechanical pencils, but shows no sign of giving up this discussion]
Me: 'Do you like pencils?'
CD: 'Is that what this is? Yes, I do.'
Me: 'Enough, take 3 pencils, go back to wherever you were, and let me get the hell on my way.'
CD: [NO hesitation] 'OK. Thanks. Have a nice day'
Me: 'Yeah, buddy, you too.'
posted by Brian at
12:24 PM
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